What's this "we" white boy?

On Easter we headed over to Ty's Grandpa's house where his Mom was making a big delicious dinner (Right now, the idea of cooking anything is completely disgusting so a prepared meal is right up my alley).  Of course, he told his Grandpa "THE NEWS" and Thank God I didn't have to pretend to feel just fine when I really want to curl in a little ball and pray for the waves of nausea to dissipate.
Get there and realize, Ty forgot to tell Grandpa to keep a secret.  Everyone is looking at me with this air of expectation, like I'm supposed to suddenly do a back flip and pop out a baby while standing in a ring of fire.  They ask how I'm feeling and I say nauseous and they all let out their breath.  Oh so we don't have to pretend we don't know?!  Oh yeah, because you were doing such a great job "pretending".
Tyler and his Uncle Willy (for real, not making that name up) decide they're gonna get into the beer.  We're all in the living room visiting and with his 3rd beer in hand, sitting on the floor, Tyler starts talking about how exciting and tiring it is now that "WE'RE" pregnant.  "We" white boy?!
Hmmmm, I'm pretty sure you were out on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday having drinks with your buddies while I was at home trying to keep the room from spinning, munching on saltines.  If this is a "we" situation, could you take the little bundle of joy next weekend while I go out for some sushi and martinis with the girls?
Could you be pregnant for me so I can break out my heels again instead of wanting to wear nothing but yoga pants and Uggs?
He says that he's been hungrier and more tired since I got pregnant too - really?  You have another life setting up their new Shanny uterine condo with extensive renovations inside of you for the next 7 months?  Believe it or not, when you eat pizza by the slice and late night poutine, the baby doesn't actually get nutrients from it.  The food actually has to be consumed by the Momma, in case you skipped that day in biology.
Luckily, he's saved by dinner and my total love of turkey, gravy, and stuffing - a few minutes in and I forget the rest of my totally excellent pregnancy zings.  Plate's empty already?  Hey you - since "we're" pregnant, go get me more food.