Saturday 11 June 2011

Pregnant = no line?!

The other night, off I go to see Bridesmaids with my friend Carly, sporting the FANTASTIC maternity jeans she gave me.  We laughed, we got grossed out (no more Brazilian BBQ for me!), and we ate a stupid amount of popcorn.  All in all, a great night.  After the movie, being women, of course we had to pee. 
No big surprise, but we hit the loo and there was a lineup - whether it's a movie, a sporting event,  or even the weekend at the mall, being a women and as such, not being able to just "whip it out and get'er done," we have been brought up with a healthy respect for the bathroom lineup.
Back to the movie theater... there we are, waiting to rid ourselves of our movie beverages.  Getting closer... getting closer... I'm the first one in line!  A stall opens up, I take 2 steps towards it, and... a girl pushes past me from out of nowhere and steals my stall!  OH THE HUMANITY!! Of course, me being me, I can't just take it from this stall stealing floozy! I very loudly say EXCUSE ME!  To which I get from somewhere in the vicinity of the back of the line, a motherly looking woman "inform" me, "Well excuse me, but she's pregnant!" with a smug look of self satisfaction on her face.
Ah, sometimes, the universe just lines up and delivers you the perfect opportunities...  I promptly turn around, lift up my t-shirt, exposing the wide, elastic beige fabric waist of my beloved maternity jeans, point to my distended tummy and snapped right back with, "Well, So. Am. I!"
The other women in line got a kick out of this one, as any woman who has patiently waited in line to only have some "bud"...  there were sniggers and smirks, and the mother of the budder mumbled a insincere apology while promptly looking down at the floor.
A stall opens up and in I go... Is it wrong that it felt so good to put her in her place?  Maybe... I know it wasn't a very "Madonna with child" moment in my life, but having been nauseous and tired all the time, for some reason this gave me energy and made me wanna take on the world! 
I shall take my new "Preggo still means lineups" message to the world!  To the registry office, fast food restaurants, Victoria's Secret dressing room, airport check-ins... Anywhere that people wait patiently, only to have someone feel that due to human nature and ginormous belly, they don't have to ask permission but rather shall push their way to the front of any given queue!
YA!  16 weeks pregnant and I'm already gonna take on the system...  Hmm, I'm home and I'm sleepy again... TYLER... I'm already lying down and baby is thirsty - will you get me some water? Don't forget some lemon!  Mmmmmmm... ya, take on the world... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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