Yes, I know Tilly's already here, but thought I should probably write the blog that I intended to write on Saturday morning, oh, about the time I was pushing her out...
Have you ever had something you were so sure that was going to happen and when it didn't, you were completely taken by surprise, like all of sudden you woke up one day and the sky was tangerine?! That is what happened to me with Tilly. Don't ask me why, but for some reason, the WHOLE time I was pregnant, I was sure she was gonna come early. I didn't know how early, but I figured this was one of those instinct things like how I was pretty sure Tilly was a girl before the ultrasound confirmed it (well, except for that "nightmare" around week 33 when I had a nightmare that my little girl suddenly was a boy and I had nothing but pink stuff and frilly dresses for him - panicked enough that I made the ultrasound tech re-check at my last ultrasound).
Anyhoo, right from the get go, I was just so sure she was gonna come early - to the point that I was worried she would come out before my time at work was up. So then, a week and a half before my due date, I went on mat leave. Perfect. All I figured every day was, well, she can come now. And then every day, I slept right through the night. No contractions. No water breaking. Not even the mucus plug (boys and anyone else who's never seen it - think of a giant huge marble-size booger. Sorry, can't think of something less gross to explain it)
The weekend before she was due, Tyler got to Regina, and I thought ahhhhhhhhh.... Tilly was just waiting for Daddy to get here! Now she'll come. Hmmm. Still no labour stuff. Day before her due date (Monday Nov 21)... Oh! Maybe this is it!! DAMN - just needed to take a big dump. Off to my family doctor aka. the nicest doctor and possibly person I've ever met. He's got huge smiles and I think he's almost as excited about her imminent arrival as I am. He measures her and guess her at 8.5 pounds. All I can think is, okay muffin, you can come out now. Mommy doesn't want more than a 9 pound baby coming out of there and I need you to still be able to put on some of your adorable newborn clothes!
Get home and that's it - off to the reflexologist. Charlie's been saying that he's got a pretty good success rate getting stubborn babies to come out. Off I go and he massages and pokes and prods my feet and my ankles... Hurts, so something must be happening!! Just to cover my bases, stop on the way home at the health food store to buy red raspberry leaf tea and some castor oil* - sure they're old wive's tales, but she needs to be born by her due date because I was SURE she would be.
Dawn of due date. Wake up. Feel tummy. Feel Tilly kicking away. Is it just me or is she kicking harder? Maybe she's trying to Chuck Norris kick her way out? Should I be shining a flashlight up there to show her the way out? Tyler tries to give her a pep talk. Interesting. Did I just imagine it, or did she just laugh at me? Not one of the gee-this-clown-is-funny kind of laughs. More of the you-mere-mortals-think-you-can-get-me-to-do-what-you-want? kind of laughs. Get the chills. Better call acupuncturist and massage therapist. Can't get in until Monday, Nov. 28. Dammit, this child is kicking my ass in this intense battle of wills.
Wake up Wednesday morning. New idea - gonna try the "Murphy's Law" method of induction. Go shopping to buy all the stuff I need to do a bunch of Christmas baking the next day - gingerbread, sugar cookies, maybe even nanaimo bars. This is gonna work - Murphy's Law is like the Secret - oh, so powerful, sending the vibes out into the universe.
Wake up Thursday morning, sigh, and go to the kitchen and actually do Christmas baking. Curses, this girl is seeing right through me!! New plan of attack. Right now, she's like a diva, in her dressing room, refusing to come out because everyone is catering to her, talking and trying to cajole her on to the stage. Time to try to reverse psycologise this baby. We're not gonna talk to her and beg her to come out today. Nope, she's gonna be so pissed, she'll storm right out of my uterus. This plan is brilliant!
Wake up Friday morning. Damn, that plan was stupid. Time to head to the OB for the appointment I only made because the receptionist made me because Ottilia was supposed to be here by now. Get there and the first thing my OB does is discuss the possibility of induction. I feel so defeated - you win baby. I sign the release form and sign the paper, scheduling it for December 5th. The OB says, that's if she's not already here. I smile weakly and say sure, "IF". Then the OB offers to thin my cervical membranes aka "the rim job" - wow and I thought pap smears were unpleasant. This is pap smear times 100. Oh Shannon, you may have some mild cramping and spotting, so don't worry about it.
Now I just go on about my day as if I'm not even pregnant - sure, I still waddle like the March of the Penguins, but I am a woman thoroughly defeated. I guess this is one of those things where I just have to give up on my certainty, like someone handing me the keys to a beautiful all-expenses paid villa in Southern Spain. Ain't happening.
All day, feeling little pangs, but no big deal - nothing new. About 11pm, feeling... sore. No cramps, no water breakage. Just... sore.
Okay now this is my season cliff hanger... Can't say anymore until the next post because I don't wanna take anything away from the big blockbuster labour story. It's epic but mommy needs to have a sleep now... Please don't let this be like that 80's show Dallas and I'll wake up still pregnant...
* Got home and looked up stuff about taking Castor oil - waaaaaay too scary about the stuff that could happen to baby. Figured I could wait so if anyone needs a bottle of castor oil...
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